More from the crazy-driving person

ZEROCOOL:
I came back here today feeling a sense of annoyance just being on my own website I have spent 10 years building. I have thought about selling it the past couple years and today I really feel the urge to list it on ebay. (Go for it, I know a number of people who would GLADLY help me buy it out from under your fucking ass.... there were a few of us who were working towards buying it out from under you as it was)
I probably will not but this is getitng to be too much for me. Not the site, the work, the time..... it's the people.

Mainly staff. Anyone who is currently here is not the staff I am referring to. I am referring to those who decided to start trouble and got banned or left on their own.I want to be able to enjoy this site too, not just make it enjoyable for you all.I am not enjoying it so much anymore.No one will ever just come to me and talk to me if they feel or think something is wrong,They start the shit talking, behind my back bs, now I am hearing Dianna had sent out emails about me before she even started her Kat bashing staff meeting.

That woman is nuts. She threatens or talks of suicide in almost every chat for about 3 years now. She constantly talks about how fucked up in the head she feels she is (not on her precious site I didn't). She constantly talks about her SEVEN multiple personalities. She constantly whines about her awful pathetic life and utterly pathetic existance. People get really sick of that shit. She pissed off a lot of people and annoyed a lot of people and drive away a lot of people in our chat room the past few years (she and her fucking bitchiness have chased a hell of a lot more people away than I have).I realize back in June 07 a year and a half ago when I lost a baby to stillbirth, I was not doing well. I realize I drove many people off but I made up for it. Once I was able to heal some I came on here and send out this big LONG drawn out appology and explanation PM to ALL AMW members. I said how sorry I was for upsetting, pissing off, and driving away people. I explained how I was feeling and what had happened to me. I explained how my staff insisted they could run the place and I could take a month or 2 off, completely. Like not even logging in. Then they started calling me less than a week into my break saying they could not handle it, they were all fighting and butting heads and they were all power tripping each other and causing serious staff meltdowns. They insisted I had to get my ASS back in here right away and get working on the site. They said there was no way I could take time away. So when I came back all hell broke loose. I was purposely nasty as hell to everyone who had a baby, was pregnant or was ttc. I hated them all. I was upset, resentful, and jealous because I had to vaginally push out and deliver a baby I knew was dead already. They would not put me out and just take it out by c section or whatever. They found no heartbeat it had died and I had to push the baby out. Then see it. Then they took pics of it and it was so messed up they broke all its little fingers off and you could see the broke off fingers in the pic. It was sick. I spent a week in the maternity floor of the hospital hearing crying babies and hearing screaming women giving birth. It was fucked up to say the least. Every nurses that came in would not read my chart ahead of time and came in asking me why I was so sad and angry. Then when I was released and hobbling out of my hospital room, they wheeled a newborn past me. RIGHT directly past me. So you see when I had to come back to AMW why the thought of a baby, the picture of a baby would send me straight to pure anger, resentment and sadness. Then I got pregnant with my twins. I had a scary pregnancy and was afraid they would not come out living. Once wthey were born and then a month later were released from the NICU. I had finally healed from my stillbirth in June 07 (no, she hasn't. She's still dealing with shit.). I had two HUGE reasons to heal. They were my replacement, my happines, my healing. However for some reason Dianna(black_rose) felt that still to this day I am crazy, nuttier than ever, sad, depressed, have PPD, etc(numerous people on the site who have dealt with PPD have said that she is dealing with PPD). Umm... no.I have not given any reason for her or anyone to believe that(numerous signs of erratic behavior, comments that she doesn't feel like doing anything, extremely irritable, sadness, disinterest in activities that were once hobbies, lack of interest in the website she created, and a desire to 'retire' from said website, repeated comments that she wants to sell it, etc). So to find out about that staff meeting she held was not only annoying and baffling, it was really really messed up. Why on earth would she go around preaching to everyone that I am such a fucking depressed psycho mess? She claimed I had been trying to self destruct and sabbotage my website (she has! She's been tearing the site apart slowly since the stillbirth, I've been watching it happen.) and life or whatever.Where the fuck is she getitng this info from? (um, again, I've been watching it happen) Her wacked out dillusional head? Anyhow I will stop now and just say I am not leaving or selling the site today but if another staff or member explosion erupts against me or the site, We are done. 10, 11, 12 years of this site will go bye bye and it will get listed on ebay. I will not sell or give it to anyone. I love and care for my close friends here but enough is enough. The first big staff eruption was with the current owners and members of www.globalfamilyroom.comThey could not STAND the fact I refused to delete any dormant accounts of members who never posted or stopped posting. My reason, because they always come back even if it is 2 years later. They could not deal with it and decided one day while I was not online they would go against me and deleted 3,000 + members. I had logged on, discovered it and who had did it and started banning them and the words FLEW! I was irate and you all would have been too. They kept saying, Kat is all about numbers blah blah she doesnt care if the members all post just as long as she has numbers.THAT IS CORRECT I SURE AS HELL AM ABOUT NUMBERS BECAUSE THATS WHAT CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP WANTS. HUGGIES, PAMPERS, ENFAMIL, SIMILAC, JOHNSON AND JOHNSON WANT NUMBERS. IF YOU CAN SHOW THEM NUMBERS THEY WILL SPONSOR YOUR SITE AND YOU GET PAID AND YIOUR STAFF GETS PAID. Small sites go no where. I want to be paid for my 10 years of blood, sweat and tears so to speak...over this site. Wouldn't you??? Then the 2nd staff eruption was the owners of www.parentalplayground.com they started building a new site when I had my breakdown about my stillborn. They left several months after I had calmed down, felt better, and appologixed to everyone. Why they did not just leave right away and why they waited till everything was better, I was better, and the site was getting back on track.. is beyond a lot of us. But whatever. Now this Dianna explosion is just fucked up. She took advantage of the fact I had been exhausted from the bullshit she started. She was unanamously voted OFF STAFF by everyone at the staff meeting that Dawn and I held the night before last. So she went in, banned and removed me from the yahoo group I started and built which she had no part in and did not one ounce of work on.. gone its all hers now she stole it from me.(It's not stealing if she gave me ownership) Then she stole one of my AMW LJ groups.(again, she gave it to me) Shes a fucking psycho bitch and I really hope she gets her just desserts. WTF is her god damn deal She should be fucking ashamed of herself. AnywaysThis is a final warning.Come talk to me if you think something is wrong. Don't pull a Dianna or AMW will be sold on ebay.

ZEROCOOL:
OH and for the record. I have moved way far past my stillborn. I would like it if you all would too. I got totally over it a long time ago and do not like hearing about it on here and do not like it being shoved in my face so much. I am over it, I moved on. I am healed.(If she REALLY had gotten over it and was HEALED, she wouldn't throw such a fit over people talking about it, now would she?) I hope you all can do the same. Obviously it bothered Dianna still I guess she was pissed I was not still upset or that I heal easier than her psycho ass heals? Who knows. I am sorry if I am hurting anyone by bad mouthing Dianna a little (bad mouthing a little? This isn't bad mouthing a little, this is bordering on fucking SLANDEROUS, and psycho ranting) but I feel after what she said and did to me I reserve the right for at least just today.